Answer:
I used a lot of descriptive and sensory details, such as the thump of the basketball, “thousands of eyes staring at me,” “wild shot at the buzzer,” “hot sweat trickled,” “could hear them shuffle in their seats,” “smell the buttery popcorn,” “hitting the back of the rim with a thud,” “smacked my lips,” “mouth felt as dry as if I had swallowed sand,” and “the sound of a jet engine.”
This type of language will help readers understand how I felt during this sea change in my life. It also gives readers a strong sense of the setting and helps them better understand the impact the crowd had on me during this moment.
I also think the narrative is well organized because it has a clear beginning, middle, and end, which all help develop the purpose and theme of the narrative.
I would change the narrative by adding stronger transitions between paragraphs. That would help readers better understand how the events and ideas are connected. For example, I could add more details about how my friend Alexis convinced me to join the team and how that led me to a moment when I was the “focus of the entire school’s attention.”
Explanation:
