SiZzLe530
contestada

BRAINLIEST + 5 STARS
COuld you review some of this book for me and tell me your honest opinion. I wrote it and I feel there is something wrong with it. Please be honest and give tips!! Thank you so much for this huge favor!!!❤

Here it is.....(sorry about the typos.)


“Benjamin,hop in the pool. It’s too hot to be just sitting here. I made some fresh lemonade.” says Jazylin, our maid.

I hate days like this. You know those days where there is nothing to do. It’s too hot and boring.


“Attack!” yells Belle, my 4 year old sister.


“Whoa,there Captain Belle! Hold your fire.” say Jazylin.


“Only if he surrenders.”


“Surrender from what?”I ask


“Breathing my air”


“Wow,are you serious?”


“Yes.”


“Ok, I’ll let you blow out one of my birthday candles instead.”


“Deal. Bye measly peasant.” She says as she floats in the pool on her flamingo floatie.


“Jazzy,what element do you think I will get?”

I can’t help wondering. This is the 14th time I’ve asked. My family comes from a long line of masters--people with a power to control one element. My mum is an earthmaster. My father is an airmaster. My parents hate firemasters and plasma masters. A firemaster once killed my grandpa. However, the elements aren’t decided by genes. They are decided by your personality. Earth is stubborn, Water is calm and passionate, Air is free and fun, Fire is wild. I know, what about plasma? Well, I'm not going to get plasma. Plasma is the only one affected by genes, and always is different. You can only get plasma if you have two parents that are fire and water;have two parents that are plasma; or are a twin and your original elements are fire and water. Very complicated. I won't get too far into that.


“Benjamin, don’t worry about it.”


“But,you know! Please tell me, Jazzy! YOu know me better than my parents.”


“I do have a guess but you will see, so don't worry about it.”


“Ok, Jazzy.” I say with a sigh

Respuesta :

MathQ

Answer:

It has a good start, but you should add more context to what you are writing. It is hard to follow what is happening. Otherwise, the story is set up very well.

Answer: I think it's great, I write a lot of novels on my free time.  

It depends on the type of story you're writing, think of the genre, and if it's for personal reading, try to understand the motives of the story, or if you're sharing it try to understand the audience reading the piece. make sure to choose words wisely and carefully as well, after writing look at your word choices and see if they satisfy you or try to change them to more appealing words. what are your goals? think about how you want this to grasp people's attention.

Think about what inspires you to write the piece. dont forget to take your time when writing. when writing try to pay attention to detail and to help get ideas read a bit about the genre you're writing about.

if you ever have questions im available.

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