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Answer:
It has a good start, but you should add more context to what you are writing. It is hard to follow what is happening. Otherwise, the story is set up very well.
Answer: I think it's great, I write a lot of novels on my free time.
It depends on the type of story you're writing, think of the genre, and if it's for personal reading, try to understand the motives of the story, or if you're sharing it try to understand the audience reading the piece. make sure to choose words wisely and carefully as well, after writing look at your word choices and see if they satisfy you or try to change them to more appealing words. what are your goals? think about how you want this to grasp people's attention.
Think about what inspires you to write the piece. dont forget to take your time when writing. when writing try to pay attention to detail and to help get ideas read a bit about the genre you're writing about.
if you ever have questions im available.