Answer:
Mother’s are challenging as they know how our buttons, we want (even if we don’t know we do) their approval and we want them to love us regardless of many obstacles. On many levels we want them to love us enough to care about our needs.
Sounds like you are at boarding school which means there is a physical distance between you and your mother and family. This can double the challenge of speaking to get your needs met.
Without assuming why you want to write rather than speak to your mother, my intuitive suggestions is to think of someone you don’t know at all, or even an inanimate object. My reasoning is that when you remove the emotional and intellectual connection, your true nature can be composed in words on paper.
It’s the implied reactions, emotions and our thoughts of if’s - if I say it this way, she’ll be better at responding, if I…if I….etc. We want to avoid that which will muddy the directness that you want to get across.
Write direct, simple sentences without adjectives. YES without adjectives. The clearer your words are the more you try to illicit a caring response, without any guessing or manipulation added to your words.
I want you to walk with me to the park at 7 pm. Can you join me? Is much better than saying. I want to go to the park today, Will you come with me?
These may sound the same but the more specific you are, the better. Especially with getting your needs met. Be precise. Be warm without giving her any reasons to object or say no or manipulate your words.
If at any time you add in a reason for something like ‘I know you are busy but I’d like to spend more time with you on school breaks’, you give your mother an out or a way to twist your words. She can say, yes she is busy and why she cannot. The opposite is true as well. You may not want your mom there as often, so she can say ‘Oh I’m not that busy, I love to see you on every break’.
Again be direct, honest and in plane language.
Just had another thought that I can share what I teach my clients. After writing the letter, go through some scenarios that could be the result. Positive, negative, emotional etc. This way you are mentally prepared for her reactions, if they don’t go your way. Keeping you in control, more calm, etc.
Good luck!
Explanation:
hope it will help u
