Question

Toby wrote this paragraph for his persuasive essay: Anyone can grow a garden. You can grow fresh vegetables. You can harvest all summer. The vegetables taste good. Growing a garden is good exercise. You pull weeds. You trim plants. Everyone should grow a vegetable garden. What change should Toby make to improve his paper?

Answer 1

Answer:

Toby should combine a few of his sentences using conjunctions.

Adding conjunctions to his writing will make it flow better.

There is no grammatical errors in his paragraph, but it feels choppy.

Using conjunctions will greatly improve Toby's paper.

Answer 2

Answer:

Toby should add a subtopic sentence after "Anyone can grow a garden" to answer why. For instance he could've said "Simply, you can just buy seeds, dig a small hole, insert the seeds and water them daily." Also he could've included a quote from an article or a credible person as proof. He should've improved his wording to make his paragraph more smooth and clear & concise.