My last post turned into a poem marathon... lets try this again. :)
I JUST NEED CRITIQUE
I have to write a poem for english.
Please critique. :)
[i]Thorns[/i]
Have you ever touched a rose?
The rose,
In all it's brilliance
Perfect with every drop of water
That helped create it
But if you touch it,
It leaves wakes
of pain and hurt.
How is it,
That the most beautiful thing
Can hurt someone so badly?
The rose did not mean to hurt you.
The rose only hurts because it is afraid
It has walls of protection built around it
And instead of letting someone
Penetrate those walls
The rose attacks.
Thinking it is being attacked.
But oh,
That rose.
In it's pain,
it left memories of that beauty.
You see that rose is like me.
I am brilliant
Along with everyone
who has made me who I am
But I am scared.
I hurt others
before they can hurt me.
I build a wall of protection
But it isn't an offensive wall.
It is a wall that I choose to hide behind
Isn't there anyone?
willing to let themselves be scratched up enough
To take me out of behind
These thoughts that choke my mind?
I am a rose.
With its walls
built a little too thick
I am the wall
With my anger defending me
Till the end
But if someone can get past my wall.
Past my anger and hurt
Maybe…
Just maybe
Someone will see the rose.
