Answer:
Imagine you are in a room full of people trying to have a conversation with someone. Thirty seconds into the conversation you realize the person is not really listening to what you are saying. Instead, they are actually starting to look over your shoulder to see if there are others they might want to connect with in the room. You keep trying to connect, hoping to engage in an exchange of thoughts or experiences, but the other person soon finds the next person they want to talk with and offers you a superficial, "It was good to talk with you," and moves on. If you are like me, you have had the experience of this kind of "pseudo conversation" more times then you care to remember. And again, if you are like me, you have also been the person looking around the room and pretending to be listening, more times than you care to admit.
One of the reasons I believe that deep, authentic listening is rare is because it is challenging to actually do. It takes time, discipline, intention, and effort to be fully present to another person when they are speaking to us. We have to truly focus our attention so that we are not distracted by what is going on around us. We have to quiet ourselves internally, so that we are not distracted by our own thoughts and concerns. We have to listen in order to truly understand, instead of simply listening in order to respond. We have to avoid the temptation to steer the conversation back to our lives and our concerns. And we have to offer the other the gift of our time.
hope it helps :)
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