Self-Esteem is the term used to describe a person’s own measurement of his/her self-worth. It is how you think of yourself, describe yourself and the collection of beliefs you have pertaining to your abilities and worthiness.
Not surprisingly, people with depression, anxiety and anger issues tend to have poor self esteem. This is not a genetic issue that you inherit, but rather a learned set of beliefs. The importance of self-esteem is that it influences how you behave and interpret the world around you.
Self Esteem affects how you think, feel and make decisions in matters that relate to you. It affects whether you choose healthy partners and relationships, a career that you enjoy or whether you even feel emotional well being on a day to day basis. It affects how you parent your children and the messages that you send them.
The following is a list of qualities or characteristics of high and low self-esteem.
Positive self-esteem possesses the following characteristics:
1. Believing in a set of firmly placed values and principles
and being able to defend or assert yourself in the face of opposition to them. If after learning something new, the old value does not fit, individuals with positive self-esteem do not have difficulty modifying the belief.
2. Being able to make choices, trust your own judgment, and not feel guilty about choices if someone does not agree.
3. Not living in the past or future, not worrying about “what if ’s.” Living fully in the present.
4. Believing in your capacity to solve problems, adjust to failures, and ask for assistance.
5. Participating in and enjoy many activities and hobbies.
6. Believing that you are valuable, and that others will enjoy spending time with you.
7. Resisting manipulation by others.
8. Being sensitive to the feelings and needs of others; accept
and abide by social norms.
9. Considering yourself self-worthy and equal to others, regardless of differences in finance and personal success.
In contrast, low self-esteem is characterized by:
1. Heavy self criticism, tending to create a habitual state of dissatisfaction with yourself. Exaggerating the magnitude of mistakes or behaviors and not able to reach self forgiveness.
2. Hypersensitivity to criticism leading to feeling attacked and not being open to constructive criticism.
3. Chronic indecision due to fear of making mistakes.
4. Excessive will to please out of fear of displeasing someone.
5. Perfectionism, which leads to constant frustration or underachievement when perceived perfection is not achieved.
6. Hostility or irritability—easily angered even over minor things.
7. Feelings of insignificance.
8. General negativity about life and often an inability to enjoy
life.
Given these characteristics, it is easy to see the commonalities that exist between depression, anxiety and low self esteem.
Treating a poor self esteem is doable and doesn’t take forever. It actually feels good. Challenging yourself, changing your focus and learning some better thinking skills can boost your self-esteem almost immediately.
