luctra20
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Hi could anyone please proof read this text and give me pointers on how i can improve it.
Thank you

Health is another important factor in the standard of living in any country. In the Solomon Islands, the health of the population is much lower and an access to a physician is low. There are multiple ways to measure the health of a certain country. The number of doctors can have an effect on the population to be healthy or unhealthy. In the Solomon Islands, there are only 0.19 physicians/1000 people (World Factbook 2012). Compared that to Australia’s of 3.5 physicians/1000 people (World Factbook 2015). With few doctors, infant mortality is a lot higher when compared to Australia. In the Solomon Islands, the country has 14.7 deaths/1000 live births. However, in Australia, the country has 4.3 deaths/1000 live births. Living in a country that doesn’t have many doctors can take a toll on the life expectancy of the country. The life expectancy of the whole population of Australia is 82.3 years. Australia life expectancy is only 6.7 years different from the life expectancy of The Solomon Islands of 75.6 years.

Education is a very important factor to take into consideration. The main focus was on primary school education. Yet, there has been an increasing understanding that higher levels of education play a key role in economic development. Higher education equals a higher income. In the Solomon Islands students are likely to stay in school until they are nine years old. Whereas in Australia students are most likely to stay in school until they are 20. The ratio of students in primary school is 1 female/ male in Australia. However, in the Solomon Islands, there are 0.99 females/male in primary school (The Global Economy 2016). The Solomon Islands has a literacy rate of 84.45% (The World Factbook). In Australia, there is a high rate of University attendance. For instance, most students graduate and go to University to TAFE after year 12. In the Solomon Islands, this might not be the case. As soon as students finish primary school they don't continue with their studies. The people of Solomon Islands can’t afford the further studies for their students unless they send them overseas and study.

Respuesta :

Correction: Health is an important factor in the standards of living. The number of doctors available greatly affects the population. In countries such as the Solomon Islands, the health of the population is low because of the low supply of physicians.

The statistics compounded by World Factbook 2012-2015 found that there were only 0.19 physicians/1000 people in the Solomon Islands. The country also had 14.7 deaths/1000 live births.

In comparison, Australia, a prosperous country, had 3.5 physicians/1000 people. With more doctors coming to aid, the infant mortality rates for Australia were also significantly lower with 4.3 deaths/1000 live births.

Living in a country that does not have many doctors can take a toll on the life expectancy of the country. The life expectancy of the population of Australia is 82.3 years whereas the life expectency in the Solomon Islands is 75.6 years, a 6.7 years different.

Education is pivotal to educate the public on health issues. It is also critical to train the future generation of doctors and nurses.
(note: the next paragraph on primary school education bla bla... doesnt match the above paragraphs. you need a topic sentence first. in summary it emphasizes healthcare is key to increasing life expectancy and the below paragraph could try to link the idea that with Education, infant mortality rates will decrease , people have better access to health ,life expectancy and standards of living will improve too. economic development follows after ( not really the main factor here).

>>>>>>>The main focus was on primary school education. Yet, there has been an increasing understanding that higher levels of education play a key role in economic development. Higher education equals a higher income. In the Solomon Islands students are likely to stay in school until they are nine years old. Whereas in Australia students are most likely to stay in school until they are 20. The ratio of students in primary school is 1 female/ male in Australia. However, in the Solomon Islands, there are 0.99 females/male in primary school (The Global Economy 2016). The Solomon Islands has a literacy rate of 84.45% (The World Factbook). In Australia, there is a high rate of University attendance. For instance, most students graduate and go to University to TAFE after year 12. In the Solomon Islands, this might not be the case. As soon as students finish primary school they don't continue with their studies. The people of Solomon Islands can’t afford the further studies for their students unless they send them overseas and study.